Are we intelligent enough to speak to the opposite sex so that he understands us?
Men talk to each other in codes and women talk to each other in hints, there is an excellent understanding.

Women talk at length to men and explain their inner world, and men explain themselves to women in a thousand ways, the discourse of the deaf is in full swing.

After all, when a man talks to his friend, he talks in simple codes and there is immediate understanding. Like a game of one zero that goes one way or the other, it’s simple and easy to understand. When women talk to each other they understand the message beyond the words in the blink of an eye. A small hint in body language can tell a woman a whole story and she will pick up everything she needs to know from her friend.

And yet when the two sexes talk to each other suddenly there are huge gaps in understanding and absorption that create conflicts that usually do not end well for us. An intelligent woman will talk to the man she is with and explain to him at length what she feels, the man will talk to her and explain to her how he thinks, but the message will be received incorrectly because each of them will translate the message in a different way. The understanding code of each of them works differently from the other.

Bridging the communication gap between genders requires both men and women to embrace their inner essence, reconnect with themselves, and foster trust in relationships, paving the way for harmonious connections.

How can it be that in the 20th century we are unable to convey simple messages to each other that will be understood? Is there a third language we need to learn to be able to truly communicate and connect?

When we speak we transmit a telepathic message to each other that is beyond words. It is a parallel language that occurs in our subconscious and has its own rules and regulations. We seem to know each other more deeply than the spoken language. And this telepathic message is an ancient language and it passes perfectly between us, so at this level we understand each other very well. The gaps begin where we translate the message into words and mental understanding, where the greatest lack of understanding between men and women begins to appear.

Sometimes it seems to me that the species are in an endless war and struggle, while they want most in the world to make peace and connect with each other. Like impenetrable glass through which you see each other but you cannot touch. You shout through it to the other side and he sometimes hears, and you still can’t get close.
I will dare to say that this rift between the male and the female in our world is a source of huge suffering and develops over the years, and the more we move away from the tribalism from which we came and become isolated family cells, the more this gap only grows.

Today we are at a stage where even a relationship no longer really lasts, and it seems that if we don’t stop and look at it deeply, the next stage will be all alone.
And here it is important to say that I absolutely do not see a relationship as the opposite of being alone. Definately not. There is *together* and there is *alone* as it is written in the  dictionary of opposites. It is possible to create diverse relationships of together, each and his preference.
But we are all products of this encounter between the sexes and most of us have been programmed by our parents’ couple model, and without knowing it we want to restore this broken place that created us. This is a deep point that has a lot to expand on and we will touch on it more later.

The array of forces
The man and the woman reflect female and male forces in the world. Each of the powers has its own special quality and they can never be equaled or alike. The very fact that they are opposites of each other creates the tremendous attraction between them, the same attraction that we love so much when it appears in front of a member of the opposite sex.

This inversion of form creates a kind of gap and distance with a tremendous desire to meet. Like magnets that come closer and want to smash into each other, so we are attracted and the closer we get, the greater the attraction.

“He wants to influence and she wants to be influenced by light.”
In simple words, he wants to lead her to the brightest point of light inside her, and she wants to host him inside her with light and love. It sounds like a fairy tale right?!
But something completely different happens in reality

He has forgotten, is not connected to himself and has long since lost his ability to lead. Without connection it has no real light. He comes at her with no real overcoming power and tries to forcefully penetrate. She doesn’t recognize light, stops, gets scared and shuts up. He was left alone. It remains empty. Sometimes he managed to force his way in, she gets injured, throws him out. He remains alone, she remains empty and wounded.
Although it often happens that he comes connected, she opens, he enters, then leaves and disappears. Abandoning her. She locks herself and won’t let anyone in anymore. (This analogy speaks of something much broader than a sexual act).

I know that this places the responsibility on the men, and I truly and sincerely think that the responsibility for solving this endless conflict lies with the men first and foremost.
Because no matter how open, feminine and ready a woman is to make love, if there isn’t a man there who knows who he is to the depths of his being, she won’t be able to trust him.
Yes, it is possible that she will compromise and agree to be with him, but this will be a compromise in the face of the current situation in the world and not a choice to host within herself what she knows she deserves. He will feel it and will not be able to feel at home with her.

As for the men, they remained lost in the world, wandering around without a home and looking for a place to rest their heads and rest from the race. They are stiff with locked doors and try a thousand and one ways to get in, and the main experience is rejection and no home.

Women are left without leadership (note that leadership is really not control. More refers to the direction. The straight line.), often wounded and missing, looking to contain a male presence.
And this is true for most men and women in the world, also and perhaps especially for those in a relationship. Not something related at all to the structure of the relationship in which people live at the moment. This is a general human state of mind from which we have not yet risen, except for virtuous individuals who manage to maintain communication between the sexes on a different level of consciousness.

If only we could understand the experience of the opposite sex in its depth, if even for a moment I could feel the physical experience of the woman in front of me, or you could feel the man in front of you, this gap would shorten and maybe even end.

But we are not there and we are also thinking beings who think a lot, and just as we have spoiled the natural experience for ourselves through the mind, so we will have to learn and understand distancing in order to make our way back.

With your permission, I will continue with the same analogy of the male who wants to influence and the female who wants to host within her. Because if the male has a desire to influence light into her and she has a desire to receive, then there shouldn’t be a problem and we should be in heaven on earth. A celebration of love and sexuality and all colors and glitter in the streets, right?!

We want to achieve something here. Our mind wants to solve the problem and achieve a result. We come to the matter from an experience of lack and use our intellect to find a solution for us. We come to the member of the opposite sex and want something from him, to solve our pain. The need for sex and touch is also a pain we have and we want to relieve it through physical action with another person. And that’s fine, that’s how our desire for pleasure works. There is no problem here at all.
It does start when the other person doesn’t solve the real pain and frustration is born which we throw back at him. Now that there is no satisfaction this sexual production is less wonderful than it was before and it starts to become the source of pain. Every time we come with a desire for pleasure that will not come true, we will start accumulating mandatory points.
This is actually the first mistake that happens in the meeting between the sexes, and it is indeed a mistake and nothing else.
It is our subconscious that tells us a story that happened once and our conscious interprets it in a wrong way. A bit reminiscent of this gap in the translation of the subconscious message that goes through a wrong translation between men and women, only this time the mistake is in our internal communication with ourselves.

If we manage to train our thinking and know that another person cannot solve my pain that I create, this will be the beginning of a new way of communication on our planet. It is exactly the point where we take responsibility for our suffering and approach the member of the opposite sex with the curiosity worthy of such a mysterious creature.
Because it’s important that we understand that we can’t really understand this creature, and maybe we shouldn’t either. What is needed is to learn the gaps I have from this creature and respect them as the first thing.

When we approach a member of our species it is easier and simpler. Have you ever wondered why it is like this?
After all, with our kind there is more understanding, yes that is clear, but that is not the reason there is no challenge there.
This is because our species does not come with such a great need and a long list of survival wishes that it needs to fulfill. It is easier for us to see the person behind this body.

Which can lead us to recognize that the human connection is the most important connection that needs to happen there in the meeting between the sexes, which can create a strong foundation for any sexual connection that will be there later, even if it doesn’t last for long.
To create a human connection we must put aside our need and learn to listen!
To see that standing in front of us is first of all a person, and only then is it a man or a woman.
Yes, it is challenging, because nature works hard there and does to us what it is supposed to do, and that is where our power to overcome nature comes in, which for me is man versus beast.

What does nature want to happen when there is attraction? The answer is simple – sex of course.
It is our basic programming that tells us to reproduce at the animal level.
And beyond the animal level, we have the need to unite. and get closer to each other and be a part of each other. We want to get back together.

Someone once asked me for advice to help him connect with a woman and find love.
I told him: Go join the men. Learn to be a good friend of men and only then will you continue looking for the woman. Because if you don’t know how to connect with people by virtue of being human, you’ll never be able to connect with a woman you don’t recognize as being human first.
Create intimate conversations with men, know how to hug them and get excited with them. Do with them everything you would do with a woman except sex, and then be ready to meet a real woman.

I would also advise you, dear woman, to do the same. If you want love from a man then get close to your female sisters again. You used to be close and remembered each other regardless of the men who were there. You used to know that every woman is a part of you and that you have to love her so you can love a man. This is just a thinking error that has led women to think that other women are in competition with them. This is a thought error that told women that there is not enough abundance in the world and that one must fight one another to achieve light. The truth is that it is not really like that, because there is enough light for all of them.

Essence versus form
At the level of the female and male form we are opposites of each other. Our attraction to the other person will be mainly from the fact that he is different in form and in his sexual energy. This attraction is an attraction to the opposite form and it appears immediately and without the intervention of thinking. It’s something nature does through us.
At the level of consciousness we strive for connection and perfection, and our attraction to the other person will come from a desire to create equality of form. In this place we will look for acceptance in the way of thinking, a direction in life, a scale of values and common things we like to do.
These are two forces of attraction that work side by side, and each of them has a different legality than the other.
Our need to compare with the other will lead us to delve into his interiority and find out the way of thinking and the inner essence, in the face of the opposite attraction that will take us to our complementary sexual energy. In this place a woman with strong feminine energy will be attracted to strong masculine energy, and strong masculine energy will be attracted to strong female energy. If you look at sexual attraction from the logic of shape equality, then the chance of men and women connecting sexually is pretty much zero, because the chance of creating shape equality on a physical level is simply impossible. A man will never become a woman and a woman will never become a man.

So we actually want to be on a physical level with someone who is most unlike us (most different from us) but on an internal level we want to be similar. And this is actually the beginning of a long and interesting story that happens between the sexes in our world, and that is why it is so important to understand the basis of the forces of attraction that act on men and women, because there is a key through which we can create peace and love between the sexes.

Here are 10 questions and answers based on this article:

1. How do men and women communicate differently with each other?
Answer: Men and women communicate differently, with men often using codes and women using hints and body language to convey their messages.

2. Why is there a gap in understanding between men and women?
Answer: The understanding code of each gender works differently, leading to gaps in understanding and conflicts.

3. What is the source of the rift between men and women?
Answer: The rift between men and women stems from their differences in communication and the increasing isolation of family units in modern society.

4. Who bears the responsibility for resolving the conflict between men and women?
Answer: The responsibility for solving the conflict primarily lies with men, as they need to reconnect with themselves and lead with light and understanding.

5. How can men regain the ability to lead and influence women positively?
Answer: Men need to reconnect with themselves and find their own inner light, leading with understanding and respect rather than force.

6. What is the importance of human connection in relationships?
Answer: Human connection should be the foundation of any relationship, as it allows for a deeper understanding and paves the way for a healthy sexual connection.

7. Why is it important to recognize the person behind the gender?
Answer: Recognizing the individual as a person first allows for genuine human connection and eliminates the focus on superficial differences.

8. What are the two forces of attraction between men and women?
Answer: Attraction between men and women consists of the attraction to the opposite form (physical appearance and sexual energy) and the desire for similarity in thinking and values.

9. Can men and women achieve equality on a physical level?
Answer: No, on a physical level, men and women are inherently different, making complete physical equality impossible.

10. What is the key to creating peace and love between the sexes?
Answer: Understanding the basis of the forces of attraction and recognizing the importance of both form and essence in relationships can contribute to peace and love between men and women.

 

Writer: Ilan Aviv